Remembering What Dance Does for Us (from the perspective of a married couple)Mar 09, 2023
Imagine there are three doors placed right in front of you.
Really there’s probably like three thousand doors, but for the sake of simplicity, let’s call it three.
The doors are plain, metal, boring. But each of them is labeled in a solid large black font. One says FOOD, one says SEX and the last says DANCE. Those words mean something to all of us, but what’s actually behind each door depends on who you are.
For instance, what’s behind the food door on Wednesday afternoon with my kids (likely grilled cheese sandwiches) is very different from when I walk through that same door on a Friday night date with my husband (sushi I hope.)
Now let’s turn the heat up a little bit.
You walk through the door marked sex. Are you walking through together or alone? Because that’ll make a difference. As will your mood, the time of day, maybe even what previously happened behind the food door. It all depends on you, but undoubtedly there is an energy behind that door, an expectation, a familiarity of emotions and actions that will arise. Wait, are we talking about the food door or the sex door? Never mind, it doesn’t matter.
Let’s talk about the dance door. For my husband and I, who fell in love on the dance floor twenty years ago and have been performing together ever since, that door is charged with all kinds of energy. But just like the other doors, it depends on the time of day, what type of music is echoing through the golden phonograph (ok, Bluetooth speaker - I leave some room for poetics.) And of course, it depends on us and our moods at the moment.
Now I imagine for you, that the food and sex doors are definitely charged with energy of some kind. The dance door? Maybe or maybe not. It depends on your past experiences, your beliefs, and whether or not you and your partner have forged an energy and expectation around dancing together.
Over the last twenty years, mine and my husband’s relationship has evolved and grown. And it’s honest to say that we (now parents of two young boys) spend less time on the dance floor than we used to. Soft sigh.
So I had to remind myself what dancing does for us.
It’s an energy and an expectation. We know if we walk through that dance door together that we will experience joy, laughter, a deep and wordless connection, presence, touch that is both subtle and abrasive, elevated heartbeats. Likely a kiss. Satisfaction. Joy, did I mention joy?
So that’s the energy that swirls behind the dance door, for us. I wonder what it is for you and your loved one. Because you do actually get to shape the energy behind each of those doors. You powerful shifter of shapes, you.
I needed a clear reminder of that myself, so I thought that maybe you did too.
An opportunity to open your dance door...
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Go on now, open the door.